After many months (even years) of deliberation, i’ve finally took the step and purchased my own domain. :p
Please do visit my new blog at www.red-tulips.com, where i’ll be blogging from.
Thank you!! :)
Happy Chinese New Year!
Today, we went for morning mass at SIC. Spent a while at my aunt’s place. After that, stayed in at home to tidy up my room. Managed to throw a few old hand bags away, finally. I’ve always kept old things, things which are rarely used or taken out, like old letters, diaries, clothes, bags, movie tickets, notebooks, ex-company’s training files etc. Just don’t have the guts to throw them away.. don’t know why.. maybe i’m afraid i may need it later, or that they bring memories from the past.. that i want to cling on to as long as i can..
While tidying up, ww said he will be coming over for visit tonight. I told mummy, and she prepared yummy dinner specially for him. Was surprised he came up the doorway with a huge hamper. Thought he already gave some home-made pineapple tarts and seaweed crackers made by his mom earlier so was surprised he got the hamper for us. Immediately i went like.. noooo, whyyyy did you buy… oh, there’s a box of mushroom, and i was telling him how his mushroom look nicer than the one i’m gonna give to his family when i go visit him, i might just as well exchange it by giving him back the nice box of mushroom! haha!
but the best part of the night, ww helped fix my firefox and IE which was down for a few days, and sync-ed all the songs into the new Ipod (which is given by mummy as she got it free from cc points exchange). i’m such a technical noob, and am thankful that my bf is so good with IT and technical stuffs :)
It was a good first day of CNY.
Sometimes, i would get this sudden newfound realisation, appearing in my mind just a split second, and in a blink of an eye, it will just leave. and i would want it to stay, as i try hard to remember what the thoughts were, for it came as a light.. like some kind of eureka and i knew that its definitely a solution to answer some questions i asked myself.
yesterday, this sudden flash of realisation came to me as i was driving alone. i realised, if we wanted all the solutions for every situation life place us, we will never get it, because, in the worst scenario one may find themselves in, the best solution to win it is, to just simply laugh about it, and take it lightly. i could always find humour in things i take so much weight upon, which, are simply out of my control. the most mysterious part of this, is that no one can tell you how to do it, only you yourself can.
and i know, i can do it.
when i felt down, or blue last time, i always had him to talk to.. to share everything to, even if our conversation lasted the whole night, we would stay up and talk. but ever since he is not here, i’ll try my best not to allow myself to feel so down to the point i feel helpless, because i know i can handle it, don’t care how, but i trust that i can do it. but, really, i can never curb the part of missing him so much my heart aches. i love him so so much, and i miss him to death. but nothing i do can ever bring him back.
People used to tell me if our work doesn’t make us stay late and we get to go home on time, its hard to actually hard to start staying late if we ever change to that work long hour kind of jobs. It’s so true! I had my first ever OT today, although it was only like 8pm. but its just one day and was already very tiring. i just couldn’t picture myself having to go through what i did in external audit again.
maybe i have just gotten lazy. or i’m just turning old. haha.